How to Ease Back-to-School Jitters

Maybe you’ve managed that first day back — or simply survived it. Here in Austin, we’ve still got one school left to start (hello, University of Texas), and my TikTok feed is full of nothing but UT rush.

No matter the age, it’s normal to feel anxious around anything new. The start of school can bring excitement and jitters, and those “what if’s” have a way of taking over quickly.

The smell of freshly sharpened pencils. The hunt for the perfect first-day outfit. The promise of new beginnings.

And yet, in Girl World, those fresh starts also stir up some pretty big fears.

While they might sound small to adults who’ve navigated decades of first days, for a 10-, 11-, or 12-year-old? These worries feel massive.

1️⃣ “What if I get lost?”

Whether it’s elementary, middle school, or college, schools can feel really big.

Here’s the truth: this fear usually isn’t about geography. It’s about wanting to feel safe and confident in a space that suddenly feels overwhelming.

How to Help:

✅ Practice together: Visit the school ahead of time. Walk her schedule and find tricky spots like the gym or the bathroom. At ATFG, we always say: walking the schedule = calming the nervous system.

✅ Give her tools: Let her snap photos of classroom numbers or keep a printed schedule in her backpack. Small prep = big confidence boost.

✅ Normalize getting lost: Share your own stories — like the time you ended up in the wrong class or got turned around. Remind her: most schools expect chaos that first week, and teachers rarely count tardies.

2️⃣ “What if I don’t have any friends?”

This one’s the Biggie.

The thought of walking into the cafeteria and feeling invisible — or worse, watching summer-shifted friendships laughing at another table — can feel like skydiving without a parachute.

In Girl World, friendship isn’t just important. It’s everything.

How to Help:

✅ Create a Friendship Bullseye: Who are her go-to girls? Who does she want to reconnect with? A visual helps her see she isn’t starting from zero.

✅ Practice scripts: “Hey, can I sit with you?” or “How was your summer?” can feel awkward. Role-play together first so she’s ready.

✅ Remind her friendships ebb and flow: It’s normal if some relationships feel different after summer. She’s growing — and so are her connections.

Let’s be real — everybody remembers that first-day cafeteria moment: tray in hand, eyes scanning for a safe place to land. It’s the same scene that sent Cady Heron to eat lunch in the bathroom in Mean Girls (and no one wants that storyline IRL).

When Talking About Feelings…

Big feelings about school and friends are tough to name. That’s where visuals and routines from Pink Chaos come in.

🐶 The Dog Feelings Poster

In Pink Chaos, I talk about the power of giving emotions a name — because once girls can recognize what they’re feeling, they can work through it. But if you’ve ever asked a tween, “How are you feeling?” and gotten a shrug, eye roll, or the dreaded “fine,” you know that’s easier said than done.

That’s why we created the Dog Feelings Poster. Instead of emotion words, it uses dog faces and personalities to make feelings more approachable — without the pressure of having to explain it perfectly.

Here’s how we use it on our pink couches (and how you can at home):

• ✅ Have her point out any feelings she doesn’t know — then look them up together. (Even therapists need refreshers sometimes!)

• ✅ Talk about comfortable vs. uncomfortable feelings. A quick check-in: “Name one comfortable and one uncomfortable feeling about school starting.”

• ✅ Laugh together at the one cat photo (yes, it represents exclusion). That usually opens up a surprisingly honest conversation about being left out.

How to Use It at Home:

• Print the poster and hang it in a common space — fridge, bedroom, or backpack drop zone.

• Use it during transitions: before school, after school, or during the Sunday Scaries.

• Model it yourself: “I feel like the tired basset hound today.”

• Pair it with games like Rose, Bud, Thorn or Happies and Crappies for a full check-in.

Want to take it further? Try activities from Pink Chaos like Feelings Uno (match feelings to card colors) or Cinema Therapy (watch a feelings-focused movie like Inside Out and discuss afterward). For some girls, rewatching a favorite series is calming too (Gossip Girl binge, anyone?).

The Dog Feelings Poster gives girls a bridge between the chaos of Girl World and the calm, curious support they need from you.

Bring the Summer Chill Into the School Year

In Pink Chaos, I also talk about how nonstop Girl World can feel — early mornings, jam-packed schedules, academic pressure, social stress.

During summer, many girls finally get more rest. They sleep more, eat better, and move their bodies — and that equals better moods, fewer breakdowns, and stronger self-worth.

So how can we carry that summer state of mind into the school year?

☀️ Schedule intentional downtime — not just activities.

☀️ Let weekends be slow when possible.

☀️ Celebrate rest as much as achievement.

☀️ Take at least one day completely off.

Final Word from the Pink Couch

If your daughter’s back-to-school anxiety feels overwhelming, you’re not alone — and neither is she.

What she needs most isn’t a perfect plan. It’s your presence, your validation, and a gentle reminder that even in the chaos, she can always come home to calm.