The Taylor Swift Effect: Enhancing Your Bond with Your Daughter

I can’t help but smile when I see all the mother-daughter duos heading out to see Taylor Swift for her final round of Eras tour concerts. We all have a lot to manage during this holiday season, and sometimes lose focus on what’s really important and end up on the struggle bus vs the fun tour bus. We know that this time of year is packed with so many fun things and also so many have to’s. Lets take a moment to learn from the queen of pop and let her light shine.

I stumbled upon a TikTok that moved me to tears; it showcased a mother sharing her heartfelt appreciation to Taylor for bringing this experience to New Orleans, one of our beloved cities. Taylor Swift frequently comes up during our conversations on the pink couches, and one fifth-grade girl even named her as a significant source of support in her life. I truly enjoy hearing my clients play Taylor Swift while they wait in our parking lot for therapy; I’ve never encountered a more genuine artist.

Get your tissues out, because this is a good one: Watch here on TikTok.

At Austin Therapy for Girls, we are incredibly fortunate to have a diverse group of therapists. One common thread among us is the way music unites people. This brings to mind Michelle Corbet, LMFT, beloved counselor at Eanes elementary and part-time therapist at ATFG, and her daughter’s adventure to New Orleans to see Taylor Swift. I invited her to share her experience.

From Michelle:

A few weeks ago, Kate and I had the incredible fortune of seeing Taylor and her entourage in New Orleans. It was a weekend we will cherish forever. From our ten-hour drive filled with her playlist to the welcoming spirit of NOLA’s residents, it was an unforgettable experience. The French Quarters, Bourbon Street, and downtown were adorned with Swift-themed decor and photo opportunities. Our hotel even featured a bracelet-making station and costumes for a photo booth.

Throughout the weekend, Kate and I kept asking each other, “How are we going to get through this without shedding a tear?” Thank goodness for waterproof mascara because the tears of joy, love and gratitude flowed all weekend long. Folklore is our favorite album, and we were thrilled that she performed so many songs from it. As we headed outside to catch an Uber, we were greeted by a sea of fans dressed in sparkles and Taylor Swift costumes. We even encountered some six-year-olds in Reputation bodysuits in the elevator; when we told them they were in their “Reputation Era,” they squealed with excitement! Upon arriving at the Superdome, we exchanged bracelets with everyone we met. Kate insisted, “Mom! You HAVE to compliment every kid’s outfit!” The joy in the air was palpable, and everyone was ecstatic to be part of the event.

The concert kicked off with the talented Gracie Abrams, who captivated the audience with her beautiful voice and engaging stage presence. When the two-minute countdown began, the crowd erupted with energy. Kate and I took on a social media challenge; she joked, “If she plays Last Kiss, I’ll shave my eyebrows and hair!” (Her hair and brows are seriously enviable.) I chimed in, “If she performs Begin Again, I’ll let Kate go to Mardi Gras with her friends.” Once the concert started, we were on our feet, singing and dancing for the entire 3.5 hours (apologies to those behind us!). I tried to capture videos of Kate reveling in her joy, but I also wanted to be fully present and savor every moment. This performance was, without a doubt, the best show we have ever attended.

When Taylor performed songs from the Folklore Era, we both found ourselves in tears. As she sang from the Tortured Poets Society, we marveled at the creativity of Taylor and her team. The night resonated deeply with us, echoing the lyrics of her song, “Enchanted”: “This night is sparkling, don’t you let it go. I’m wonderstruck, blushing all the way home. I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew. That this night is flawless, don’t you let it go. I’m wonderstruck, dancing around all alone. I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew, I was enchanted to meet you.”

So as the most (wonderful, stressful, anxiety filled, joyful, fill in your own) time of the year rolls around, we wanted to share some insights into the Taylor Swift effect and continue the Era’s tour vibe throughout the end of 2024.

Don’t be so hard on yourself

If you’re a mom from the ’80s or ’90s, you might recall some of our beloved blockbuster films. In those stories, caregivers let their children interact with aliens and even bought a gremlin as a Christmas gift, which ended up wreaking havoc on the entire town. So yea, I never met a caregiver that didn’t want a better life for their child…

When caregivers frequently criticize themselves for every small mistake or misstep along their parenting journey, that becomes the focus vs. enjoying the small moments.

We all have bad days and do and say things we regret however Taylor says:

“Today is never too late to be brand new”

Honor the Hard Moments

Striving to be perpetually joyful and cheerful during this holiday season can lead you straight to Grinchville. If you’ve experienced a loss this year, are dealing with a family illness, or simply don’t feel like yourself, it’s important to acknowledge that sadness. Take the time to grieve and connect with your loved ones. Remember, no one is meant to navigate their suffering alone.

Someone saying things to hurt your feelings? Remember Taylor’s lyrics “Don’t you worry your pretty little mind people throw rocks at things that shine”.

Quality Time and Thankfulness to the Rescue!

“What makes me happy is just curling up in with my mom in her bed and watching a marathon of ‘CSI’ and ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ episodes with pints of ice cream.” – T.Swift

The primary request daughters have for their mothers is simply to spend quality time together. Participating in everyday activities like cooking dinner, taking walks, or enjoying tea enhances relationships and fosters lasting memories. These shared experiences promote connection, storytelling, and mutual understanding. A helpful tip for fostering this bond, as well as an effective way to combat seasonal blues, is to establish a mother-daughter gratitude practice. One of our favorite methods is to exchange a brief list of three things we’re grateful for each day, with no need for explanations. You could even send a photo of something that represents your gratitude. Additionally, consider creating an album filled with moments of appreciation to revisit during times of sadness or loneliness.

“And now I know why the all the trees change in the fall. I know you were on my side, even when I was wrong and I love you for giving me your eyes staying back and watching me shine and I didn’t know if you knew, so I’m taking this chance to say, that I had the best day with you today.”