Five Tips to Self-Love

Our intern Abby teamed up with Shayna, the mastermind behind ATFG,, to bring you another fantastic blog!

As February 14th grows nearer, it’s very easy to start dreading the upcoming holiday that waits. The thought of staring at countless happy couples, an array of pink and red heart candy, and looking at ads for Valentine’s day everywhere you go can definitely make you want to hide under your cozy covers all day. Even Miley Cyrus made it through her devastating breakup and created the ultimate self-love anthem with “I Can Buy Myself Flowers.” The lyrics “I can love me better than you” serve as a reminder of the importance of loving yourself even in the midst of our worst moments. Let’s follow in Miley’s footsteps and make self-love a priority this February.

Embrace Self-Love: Five Tips to Start Your Journey

If you take a moment to google the root of valentine’s day you will find a lot of different information about St. Valentine. The most interesting thing to me was the actual root of the word Valentine, Valentinus. Valentinus is from the Latin word for worthy, strong or powerful, no better way to celebrate the lovely made up holiday as Galentine’s by celebrating your worthiness. Super cool!  I can surely get behind a holiday that originally means worthy, strong and powerful because being or feeling worthy is the focus of most of my work with mothers, daughters and women of all ages.  So, the question becomes how do we feel more worthy, especially when we face a failure/mistake or even just overall bad hair day. This February, give yourself the best gift possible: self-love. Let go of self-blame and negativity that have been holding you back. Prioritizing self-care is crucial for personal contentment as well as nurturing positive relationships with others. A combination of kindness, gratitude, and acceptance makes up the foundation of self-love. Although the journey isn’t easy, the benefits of self-love are worth the effort. To begin your journey towards self-love, here are five tips to get started:

1. Get rid of toxic relationships 

When looking at toxic relationships, I’ve had plenty. The feeling of having to get rid of them can make your heart drop for several different reasons. I personally had two reasons for why I didn’t want these relationships anymore. The first being some of these people had been in my life for a long time and the second was because of how much I had already gone through with these people. When I was at lower points in my life, I had the ability to lean on some people. Realizing those same people needed to go left me feeling scared and worried I wouldn’t find people like them again. I realized quickly that was not the case. After those toxic relationships had weighed me down, leaving them had me feeling lighter than I had in a really long time.  

Here’s a hot tip : you can use for the rest of the week (or even a month if you’re feeling brave): Take a break from drama and try a “drama cleanse”! This means slowly easing yourself out of stressful situations and conversations. For instance, when someone starts gossiping negatively about someone else, simply change the topic to something more upbeat and fun. Your sanity will thank you!

2. Be your own bestie : 

After setting your boundaries with certain friends and getting rid of those toxic feelings, you are going to realize you have a lot of spare time to hangout with yourself. I noticed I needed to start accepting and loving who I was as a person and embrace my own flaws. The most liberating thing I did for myself was trying things simply because I enjoyed them and they made me feel good. I realized I needed to heal after those friendships ended. For me, the quickest way I healed was embracing  my own hobbies and strengths and I still continue to do that even though I am past all those worrisome feelings.  

3. Create a practice of self-love:

Simply making time for yourself. Taking a few minutes or even hours to do something creative, listen to your favorite music or even paint your nails are small acts of love that can boost your mood. Remember, sometimes the best way to be there for others is by being there for yourself.

At Austin Therapy for Girls, we prioritize the “me time” concept. We believe in dedicating a specific time during the day to yourself on either Saturday or Sunday. Looking for inspiration on how to take care of yourself? Check out the hashtag “self-care Saturday/Sunday” on Insta or TikTok for some great ideas. Also, group therapy is a great way to connect with yourself and others. Art Journaling is a magical way to develop some great tools and really get to know you.  Groups link HERE.  

4. Write affirmations on the mirror👍

Rather than writing about superficial affirmations such as looks, writing about your mindset, your goals, or your worries can impact how you deal with road bumps everyday. Writing something on the mirror that genuinely affects your mood or attitude everyday is how you can stay away from being a perfectionist and lean into what makes you happy. For example, writing, “My hair looks good today” is great, but it doesn’t really help you in the long run to know that. But, if you write, “Don’t worry about what you can’t control”, that can ease tension in projects that worry you because it is a reminder that things won’t always go your way. 

5. Stop comparing yourself to others:

 I still compare myself to other people and I struggle with how I look at myself. Since I am still learning about myself and figuring out how I best deal with things, I know that one of the reasons I find self love hard is because I still compare how I look or act to other people. This is one of the most draining things I think a lot of teenage girls are guilty of. What helps me is reminding myself that it is ok to look and act differently and it doesn’t make me any less of a person than the one I see on instagram. Setting that reminder lets me take a deep breath, turn off my phone for a little bit, and tell myself that I am worthy of being happy. 

Valentine’s Day, aka “National Single Awareness Day” according to Insta, can be a total doozy for anyone. But, I’m here to give you a virtual hug and a gentle nudge towards loving yourself more. Believe me, the journey to self-love isn’t always a straight road. You might feel like you’re in a bumpy ride with all the uncomfortable feels, but don’t throw in the towel just yet! You are worthy of love and acceptance, and as a fellow teenage girl, I know it’s not always easy to love yourself. It’s okay to feel intimidated by this journey because no one’s perfect, everyone has off days, and those good vibes can’t always be rushed. Just keep on keepin’ on, my friend! 

So, let’s put on our self-love sunglasses, indulge in your favorite snacks, put on some romantic comedies, and embark on a journey of self-discovery and appreciation.  Check out our instagram and Tik Tok pages for more inspo.