Big Feelings, Courageous Hearts: Helping Your Daughter Process Grief, Anxiety & Tragedy

🌀 Why This Conversation Matters

In the aftermath of the Hill Country floods—and the heartbreaking loss within our greater camp community—many of our daughters are feeling more than they can express.

Some are asking big questions.

Some are acting differently.

Others seem “totally fine”—but as we know, “fine” can be a mask girls wear when their inner world is swirling.

At Austin Therapy for Girls, we hosted a webinar titled “Big Feelings, Courageous Hearts” to offer guidance, not perfect answers. This blog captures the highlights, tools, and truths we shared to help you support your daughter through times of grief, anxiety, and uncertainty.

🌱 Start with Curiosity

Before diving into advice or comfort, meet your daughter where she is. Ask open-ended, compassionate questions:

“What have you heard about what’s been going on?”

“How are you feeling about it?”

“Is there anything you’re wondering or worried about?”

This approach keeps the door open without overwhelming her.

💖 Presence Over Perfection

You don’t need a script—you need presence.

“I don’t have all the answers, but I’m here with you.”

It’s okay if you cry. It’s okay if you fumble. What matters most is that you show up.

🌸 Super Feelers: Raising an Orchid in a Lantana World

Some girls are Super Feelers—emotionally sensitive, deeply empathetic, and highly attuned to others.

To explain this, let’s look to nature:

Here in Texas, lantana thrives in our droughts and bounces back after cold snaps. It’s resilient and low-maintenance.

But an orchid—delicate and rare—requires specific care. It’s sensitive to light, water, and change. And when nurtured correctly, it produces breathtaking blooms.

Super Feelers are the orchids of the emotional world.

They might:

• Feel everything intensely—their own emotions and others’

• Be deeply affected by loud voices, harsh tones, or perceived stress

• Withdraw, shut down, or overfunction when overwhelmed

• Be misunderstood as “too much” or “too dramatic”

And yet—when supported and validated—they can become the most compassionate, intuitive, and resilient young people you know.

🧠 Did you know? Their brains are still developing emotion-regulation tools until well into young adulthood. Until then, they need your co-regulation, compassion, and calm.

🧠 The Magic of Validation

Validation helps lower emotional intensity and build safety. Try this tool we shared in the webinar:

The Three Becauses:

“It makes sense you’re feeling anxious because…”

“You saw something upsetting on TikTok.”

“You know someone who was affected by the floods.”

“You’re nervous about what to expect at camp.”

Even if you don’t get it exactly right, you’re sending the message:

“You matter. I’m listening. You’re not too much.”

🌧 Grief Doesn’t Always Look Like Grief

Grief in girls can be subtle. It often shows up as:

• Headaches or stomachaches

• Withdrawal or “overly fine” behavior

• Becoming overly helpful or perfectionistic

• Masking emotions to avoid “being a burden”

Grief has no timeline. Keep offering space—again and again.

🧘‍♀️ Tools You Can Use Together

You can grab free tools we shared in the webinar here:

👉 pinkchaos.com/downloads

Some of our favorites:

• “Name it to tame it” (with our dog feelings poster 🐶)

• “I” statements like: “I feel worried when I see you shutting down.”

• Courage mantras

• Grief + resilience playlists

🫶 Final Thoughts

If your daughter is struggling, you’re not failing—you’re witnessing her deep capacity to feel.

Whether she’s a Lantana or an Orchid, what she needs most is your courageous heart beside her big feelings.

We’re honored to support you. And if you’re looking for deeper connection, tools, or therapy resources, we’re here.

With warmth and compassion,

Shayna + The ATFG Team

📍 Austin Therapy for Girls

📩 Contact Us

📲 @austintherapyforgirls